Teaser 001: Deathbed Confession
This is my deathbed confession, though I'm not lying in bed nor dying in the sense that I have one month to live, or six weeks to live, or two weeks to live, or, “He will surely die soon. It's only a matter of hours.” If that be the case, I would have to write very rapidly to include everything, which would be impossible, since I can't remember everything. Who can, besides the omniscient one? I can assure you I am not that one. Even though I'm not dying, per se, one may consider this such, since no one will ever see it until I am dead. Sounds perfectly logical to me.
I call this foray into my history Just Desserts, which may not be completely accurate, but I have two legitimate reasons. First, through my long and studied experience I have fostered the opinion that all consequences from any of my actions have been just and deserved, even the bad. I haven't been good all my life and I can safely assert you haven't either. If you have been good all your life this would make you perfect, thus immediately disqualifying you from existence in this home, our home, the big blue spaceship. Perfection does not exist here, not in human form, and if you're reading this right now and understanding some of it, you're most likely human and imperfect. If this information places you in shock, welcome to my world. I will never lie to you, at least not beyond the point where I have pulled you far enough and teased you to the moment of truth when I let you off the hook by stating, “Oh, I was just kidding.” I'll watch you squirm for a few excruciating seconds and disarm you with my wide and engaging smile. Gotcha! Perfect you are not. I hope I haven't burst your bubble, but it would have burst sooner or later.
Second, most of this will concern the latest events from my life, storied or not, though it truly is a story, an adult fairy tale as some have claimed. Why wouldn't it be? What has occurred in my life over these last years is virtually unbelievable, improbable. Most of it has been quite tasty like the best desserts, the right way to end a meal, leaving one wanting more, and as it progressed, I wanted more. I've experienced the closest, the most intimate acts, with those humans who I could only dream about, even when I met them and didn't even know they existed before then. That I should be rewarded in my progressing experience with so many of them is the most tasty dessert I could possibly imagine. I've also tasted some less than palatable desserts along the years, some of which were extremely bitter. I have, along the way, attended funerals, which shouldn't be so startling at my age, but when you bury friends and colleagues with barely two or three decades of existence, leaving behind grieving spouses of an even younger age and several progeny barely able to hold years of experience, and in some cases measured only in months, you can, at times, literally feel your own heart wrenched from its cavity. And you never consider it dessert.
- Just Desserts, Segment One “Welcome to Lost Anglos” by Gregory R. Schussele, © 2021
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