Teaser 253: Psychologists as Lovers
This was my introduction to Lena's world and her residence. I had never been there until this trip. It was some of her worry but her residence, as small as it was, was quite comfortable, a small cottage far outside the city limit of Baden Baden. It came with a rather large expanse of meadow and woodland, so it enticed me to take meandering walks and I usually succeeded in convincing Lena to accompany me. Those first two or three days with both of us walking and talking together made an impact and Lena soon began to renew and rejuvenate and reinvigorate, to become more as I remembered her, as I always think of her. Our moments of informality were those she orchestrated as I insisted. “Have me as you want me, my beloved. You have waited patiently for me, longer than you should have. We are inextricably bound. You shall be the master.” It is Lena's nature that she cannot bring herself to be the master so frequently, that she is compelled most often to be subservient and submissive. I knew it but I also knew how to proceed with it. I suggested, should she hand the reins back to me, and refused to proceed without her willful acceptance. It would come. Lena knew, above all else, how patient I am. It's what she appreciated in me so much, that I would simply wait out her own uncertainty, confusion, and timidity. You would think this woman, from what you have gathered so far, was anything but timid and unsure. The closer you get to Lena, though, the boundaries and walls begin to crumble and the little girl emerges, wide-eyed and apprehensive. What always intrigued me, and continues to this day concerning Magdalena, is how she could openly talk to me about all of it in such a detached and clinical method, yet still fall into it consistently. As wide-eyed and apprehensive as the little girl was when she emerged, she still trusted me, so I never pushed Lena to try to overcome what deficiency it might mean. As I told her, time and again, “Once the little girl stops trusting me, Lena, then we're going to deal with her. We all have our flaws, inconsistencies, and defects, and you know I have mine. Should these failures start to push us apart, you and I are going to deal with them. I will never let you drift away from me.” Lena would laugh and remind me all she had to do was say “I divorce you” four times and we were through. I would always remind her she could say it three times easily, but the fourth time she would have my full attention as I would be staring right through her jet black pearls, daring her. She knew if I heard it four times in one sitting, I would walk right out the door and never return. Sometimes you have to be honest and lay it all on the line with psychologists. They bluff more often than anyone.
- Just Desserts, Segment Thirty-One “Go Home” by Gregory R. Schussele, © 2021
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