Teaser 294: My Favorite Scene

My favorite scene with Serena is at the bar where I learn, even though I have not seriously tried to pursue her, she thinks I'm too old for her. It was one of the few improvisations I did while we were shooting I never discussed beforehand. The four of us sit at a table in the bar and it's relatively early in the movie, but my character is well into his fifties by now and Andrea tells me Serena thinks I'm too old for either one. There were different lines which we had all contributed but this day I had been thinking about the day I met Serena and the lines in the script were too safe. I decided to improvise, so I stated, staring straight at Serena, who was the character I was supposed to address, “I think you're wise to conclude I'm too old. You're the one that, when you're ready, you are far too impatient to hand me a blue pill and wait thirty minutes. By then, you're completely out of the mood!”

Drake and Andrea laughed as their improvisation, and Serena went with it, though she had no idea where I was going, didn't really want to go there, but followed with, wearing a scowling expression, “What is that supposed to mean? Other than you are an old man who can't get it up any more?!”

My response, delivered with my stern expression. “Well, little girl, you'll never need a blue pill for me and you'll never have to wait thirty minutes since mine will be instantly ready. Unfortunately, medical science has yet to produce a reliable pill for the other side, for those who can't get wet and instead are as dry as a bone!” I concluded with my southern belle persona. “Why, there's nothing like sexual intercourse using a dry tunnel to rip your sex organs to shreds! My! My! There's nothing to compare it to! Rhett, darling, we absolutely must do this again...in three days after our bodies heal!” Since it was the end of the scene, even if we had followed the script, I yelled cut. Drake and Andrea were laughing almost uncontrollably and Serena, by now, was laughing with them, along with the bar regulars sitting within hearing distance, which were many because I practically shouted it. We had to make a very fine cut in the scene and add to the following scene Serena's expression of contempt. It fit. We made it fit. We all agreed it was the scene to put in there. We didn't bother shooting the original. It set a tone and demeanor for my character. Serena loved it and asked why I didn't change it earlier and discuss it with everyone, like I had with most of my changes. I reminded her how Drake and Andrea reacted, as they were literally howling with laughter because they knew I was adding it with Serena in mind. They knew about her woman change. It wasn't anything she or I had hidden from either. When I threw that reference in there, they were cracking up for real.

- Just Desserts, Segment Thirty-SevenVisitations” by Gregory R. Schussele, © 2021

contact me, as always: schussprose@gmail.com